leave a mark that can’t erase neither space nor time so when the director yells cut I'll be fine

life is for living not living up tight, - Jay Z

I've got this swagger in my step again and I love it. A lot of factors have come into play in the past few months and I am thankful for them, I saw the fruits of my labor and the ever increasing results of living life and enjoying the time you have left. A lot has to be said about my self worth. I'm just now feeling that my self worth equals what I can be, the goal is to excel at both but I won't be disappointed if things progress further.

I look ahead to what is in store with me as the days count down, a few birthdays and a special Christmas for me. I haven't even begun shopping for my loved ones, although I don't think a gift is needed other than the gift of family, it is definitely a privilege and something I can say that I am happy to have in abundance.

I've been transitioning physically and though the rewards have been awesome I've become greedy. My trainer is hilarious and awesome, he makes me dig deep when the tanks empty and I love him for that. The benefits are in the work habits and it all depends on me after the workout is over, eating right, taking the right vitamins and stuff are the key to my success. We've been going at this for almost a month now and I can definitely see improvements but I want more, much much more.

My two years working is coming to a close, I hope to extend this longer but we'll see how it goes. Wishing for the best but preparing for the worse. I want to reflect on my working term with my next post. The people I've met and the abundance of awesome stuff I learned, not to mention all the not so awesome stuff.

Stay forever young bitches.

Hey Pretty Baby With The High Heels On....

You Give Me Fever, Like I've Never, Ever Known - Michael Jackson

I never really knew what that "fever" is that he's singing about so I can't say the same but he's right in expressing it. When you find something you want, just go for it, no point in thinking about it. This has become a learning curve for me, I'm on the apex right now. I have always been worried about the outcome instead of the experience that leads to it. Being to preoccupied with myself for such a long time, I always enjoyed the logic behind everything I did, After some much needed tuning I want the emotion behind it.

I always use to think I was the in flux, right now I think my surroundings are, looking at everything in my life there's been a progression, as I progressed so did my surroundings,I never really cared about the progression of my surroundings cause I was too focused on my own progress. My natural progression has been wonderful, but I think my progression needs a break.

I saw a friend who I hadn't seen in a while, timing scheduling or whatever, we just couldn't find a time, but having those times with them is really special in their own way, I left knowing the paths we're on are very different, yet we've each walked in the others shoes, a very good feeling to know that the path I'm on has been walked before, and the experience learned from it will only make me better for it. I try not too worry about the bumps and bruises, but it's hard to now worry about them when you know they are coming.


Halloween was pretty laid back, I was on candy patrol and only got about 15 kids or so, I had the cutest little lion come to the door, I ended up giving him so much candy that he was barely able to pickup his plastic pumpkin candy holder!! I also had the jabawokeez come to my door, that was pretty awesome, they busted a move on my lawn I had to throw them more candy for that.