To see me for all the stupid Sh*t I've done - Blind Pilot
I've been been in solitude for a while keeping myself busy, I haven't picked up a book in a while, I reckon I'll do that towards the end of the week. I have noticed I've been paying a lot of attention to myself during this time, exercising and getting back to the things I love have helped quite a bit. I was discussing things with my dad last time I was home and I can see how proud he is of his kids. I am quite proud of myself with what I have accomplished so far but I gotta keep focused on my goals and not to waver from them too much, I am pretty close to a goal of mine I just have to stick with it!
Exercising has been pretty helpful for me, I've been going to the gym at my work for the past year and have seen results which gave me confidence in how I look, which gave me confidence in other areas of my life, all in all my confidence level is higher than it ever was, which makes for a happier Michael. My relationships have taken a back seat as I was trying to figure out some stuff, those who I thought of as "friends" are not so friendly anymore, I removed myself from some friendships that were stumping my ability to grow as a person, which has been tough and has led me down this road of solitude where I can't hear anything but my own thoughts. Such a place is scary at first but over time I've become quite comfortable with it. Overall I am enjoying this ride I am on, I feel much better than I did before, I can't see the horizon yet but I know it's coming.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Soldiers, you've got to soldier on
What a long weekend, it was pretty awesome!! A great way to unwind and just let go. I personally think weekends should be 3 days, but I don't make the rules!!
I spent time with my buddies in Niagara who I always have fun with. I enjoyed a simple game of monolopy (with some nifty rules) more than I ever would heading out for a night on the town. Life is simple, there's no need to complicate it. I slacked off on the gym since I have been really busy with side projects but now I'm heading back with a new motivation and a commitment to eating healthier, I am going to eliminate cheat days and eat less carbs, focus more on fruits, vegetables, protein shakes, combined with some cardio. I have my spring/summer routine set! This should be fun to try, small steps first, my goal is to see results by June, and modify thereafter. My mates at work have been really helpful and supportive by giving me pointers and things to try out, so I will see how it goes.
I took a plunge to remove objects in my life that were not helping me take steps and the results have been pretty good so far, nothing horrible to report but I've found that their absence has helped in ways I was not aware of before, I am still treading lightly but it gets easier every day. I learned that the ones closest to you are the ones who can cut the deepest, which would explain why I seem distant from quite a few people who I was so close to before. A lot has to be said of these people, but I won't bother to say it. I will say I am not perfect and I have made mistakes in the past and will continue to make mistakes, I'm human. I am more aware of what mistakes I am making and whose presence I am in when I make them.
A friend of mine had me stumped the other day, I chalk it up to the inability to cope with stress or having a very short patience stick when stuff hits the fan, they've always been a quiet person but lately I have seen a side of them that I do not like, any conversation that begins civil turns ugly, I choose just to keep quiet and let things pass or just change the subject, there is just too much of their ego at stake when we speak and I would rather let them speak to justify themselves. The world is harsh when nobody listens to you, the least I can do is give them that.
I spent time with my buddies in Niagara who I always have fun with. I enjoyed a simple game of monolopy (with some nifty rules) more than I ever would heading out for a night on the town. Life is simple, there's no need to complicate it. I slacked off on the gym since I have been really busy with side projects but now I'm heading back with a new motivation and a commitment to eating healthier, I am going to eliminate cheat days and eat less carbs, focus more on fruits, vegetables, protein shakes, combined with some cardio. I have my spring/summer routine set! This should be fun to try, small steps first, my goal is to see results by June, and modify thereafter. My mates at work have been really helpful and supportive by giving me pointers and things to try out, so I will see how it goes.
I took a plunge to remove objects in my life that were not helping me take steps and the results have been pretty good so far, nothing horrible to report but I've found that their absence has helped in ways I was not aware of before, I am still treading lightly but it gets easier every day. I learned that the ones closest to you are the ones who can cut the deepest, which would explain why I seem distant from quite a few people who I was so close to before. A lot has to be said of these people, but I won't bother to say it. I will say I am not perfect and I have made mistakes in the past and will continue to make mistakes, I'm human. I am more aware of what mistakes I am making and whose presence I am in when I make them.
A friend of mine had me stumped the other day, I chalk it up to the inability to cope with stress or having a very short patience stick when stuff hits the fan, they've always been a quiet person but lately I have seen a side of them that I do not like, any conversation that begins civil turns ugly, I choose just to keep quiet and let things pass or just change the subject, there is just too much of their ego at stake when we speak and I would rather let them speak to justify themselves. The world is harsh when nobody listens to you, the least I can do is give them that.
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