I'm a few months too late. But I needed to process everything.
To start, I've regressed. Faced some hard truths and came to the realize that I'm not as happy as I thought I was.
My grandma passed away earlier this year. That was undoubtedly the worst feeling I have ever felt. I visited her the day before she passed, I got the news at work and was unconsolable. The fact that death comes for us all is scary as fuck, undefeated in the mortal realm. Learning to accept my own mortality is a tough one, I always shyed away from it cause, death is f*cking scary. I have a hard time accepting that I'll cease to exist someday and when that day comes if I'll be surrounded by my loved ones? Or all alone? Which brings me to...
My non existent love life...it doesn't exist..yet it does. I call it shrodingers love. I feel that I'll find someone that I click with, but going on dates hasn't been encouraging. But both of these things are sure. If I don't go on them, I'll never find her, if I stop I definitely won't find her.
This'll be my goal for 2019. Get back to being me and find my way again, I somehow lost my path. But if I keep moving, nobody can stop me.
