Save the Last Dance for me.

So darlin' save the last dance for me - Michael Buble


I have this nagging feeling that I'm meant for more things than what I am doing right now, it's an urge that needs to be filled, I don't know what it is? Ambition maybe? the want and need to be free from the shackles of a 9-5, I want to experience the world as it is, I want to LIVE instead of existing. I've been asking myself how I can accomplish this, whether it be from investing in myself to take more school, or just pay off all my debts and take a one way ticket somewhere and see if I can make it? it all sounds surreal, but very very real.


At this point I am going to look into my options and what is available to me, working abroad seems like so much fun, although I'll have to get some documents to get it done, it's the experience I am after, maybe I'll quit my job and travel Europe for a few months? I'm certainly not thinking straight and I know I had to get this down on some sort of writing cause I haven't been thinking clearly the past few weeks.

Maybe a clearing of my head to clear the cobwebs? or something more. Each day I walk into the office I find myself thinking of ways to liven my day up, I no longer take joy in doing things that made work fun, the best part of working a 9-5 for me is the drive to and from work, just driving with some good tunes and my thoughts gives me peace to get to the next day, am I growing up? or am i just being childish in wanting to be completely left in silence? maybe on some level subconsciously I feel very misunderstood? in the comics all the Hulk wanted was to be left alone. I find myself wanting this as well, I find that those around me are just a constant noise that clouds my judgement, or sways me in a direction that I don't want to point.

When I am alone I take peace in the facts that I have arrived at are my own, I take peace in knowing that I have nobody to please other than myself, I take peace that knowing that everyone I meet is attempting to meet the expectations of those around them, instead of meeting the expectations of themselves.

I wonder where this sense of wanting to be alone comes from, is it the queue of greatness? or just a way of telling myself that I don't need anything else? So many questions, and each day is a day wasted in trying to find answers.