Mozoltov!!

Been a while since I wrote, a lot has happened and a lot hasn't happened so I can't really tell if things are up or down. The high I had for a while has all but disappeared, I have been trying to find it and have reverted back to old habits which frustrates me, but I forgive myself and move on. There's so much to be said about myself, what's happened in the last month and what is about to happen, let's start with the recent.

A friend of mine is prepping himself for a leave of absence to Korea to teach engrish ( notice the play on words? hehe) for a year and I am really proud of him, been a while since I've seen a real smile from him but when he talks about leaving I can see his eyes light up and he's in the moment immersed in what is about to happen and I can't be happier for him. My other friend, is on the downswing I can see in his eyes that he feels that this life is passing him by and he's unable to cope with his friends around him buzzing about and he feels very stagnant, recently graduated I implore to him to get his resume cleaned up and start sending them out, I don't know if he's listening and my level of interest is very little. Knowing him as well as I do I know that he's not the one to ask for help unless he needs it but sometimes it's too late and the opportunity is gone. I don't dare tell him anything where conflict happens cause his pride is hurt and resentment is created because his lovable buffoon friend seems more wise than he looks. I've been in that situation too many times thinking I was going to be a hero and ended up being the villain, Harvey Dent said "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." I agree with that statement and it's foreshadowing references, in my head I see that I am attempting to play the hero and his view of me is the villain, knowing this I can only see 2 possible outcomes and both point to the expiry date on our friendship.

We celebrated a birthday for a friend and it was good times, more importantly I got to see some friends I hadn't seen in a long time, I can't believe I almost didn't go out. Earlier that day I was thinking about not going cause I really just wanted to just hang out at home and be with family and the idea of going back to Hamilton didn't interest me at all but I sucked it up and glad I went. I did feel a little sorry for my friend cause the group was small and I can tell it was a little awkward for him but he played it pretty well, I'm just thankful I'm a 1/3 decent tension cutter on top of being quite lovable and awesome. Our late night meal was a mess, the highlight was eating chicken schwarma, god I LOVE food. Another highlight was seeing the hybrids, I forget that underneath the hard exterior they are softies at heart. Overall an awesome night and one I'll remember till the next one.


My routine for exercise has changed to incorporate more cardio and next week I begin this boot camp at work, I am really excited to see if I can make it through everything. a few people at work are doing it and they say it's tough! I am also interested in doing yoga, one of the hybrids is doing it so maybe I can tag a long with them for physical er.. moral support.